Eileen St. Louis

Whether I am counseling someone in crisis or I am editing footage that I've taken with my camera, I realize that as different as they can be- it's the stories that I'm caring for and making known, creating windows for others that need a way to see the value of these stories, in order to recognize their true depth.  These days, rather than feeling as though I am pulled in too many different directions I feel as though the various facets of my life and work are finally synthesizing in a way where I can be at most ease in the beauty of the process and the influence of what I do. That is a very new sensation, this feeling of somehow satisfaction in my abilities because, it wasn't always so.     Fear is a funny thing. It can possess you so that you never know what you're actually afraid of because you never look at it directly in it's ugly face. Sometimes fear is imposed upon you, often children and vulnerable adults are the most at risk for this because of how ...

Zip-codes of tainted biographies news of grief. The noise of helicopter causing green leaves to quiver like tissue paper. My heart leaps in  and out- Playing double dutch  with my soul's trust. She speaks of meeting her maker when she's lost too many already Laying out her next day's outfit For the time is near.

I woke up at 10:15am today The sky a dusky grey. High hopes thudding at the Bottom of my slow chest. Listening to the sound Of my cat scratching at the door. Soon, there'd be news Of more fallen on the Insidious homefront. Marking birthdays that end. The rain drops ever coaxing, As if to ask: let's make love.

If the holiday cards that Nick gave to his mother as a boy affirmed the impact of art on a person's psyche thru a visceral reaction to a small folded paper that he decorated, then what do you suppose is the design of his infamous Sound Suits if they too, are an extension of greeting cards- what is their intended and unintended impact?  I asked Nick Cave last night, in terms of how he views himself as a messenger rather than an artist, using art to explore new languages and new ways of seeing- what inspiration could he speak to that he could offer to the community-based artists in St. Louis as we seek to also open people to the multi-dimensionality of human perspectives? His answer was simple: art does promote change. I'm not sure that Mr. Cave said it in quite those words, but the message was clear- never doubt that creative arts can have an impact on social change.  I was too nervous at the sight of him considering my question for a moment before answering, th...

And another thing, what is this with Slant magazine slamming the series, "Marco Polo" as being demeaning towards womyn and reinforcing Asian female stereotypes? Just because you are an Asian-American focused magazine who thinks it's somehow radical by taking back the term "Slant" for a magazine title, does not mean you are real journalists with any depth. From the sound of whatever you decided to publish to the detriment of your readers, you failed to grasp the complex characters that convey beautifully the emotion of human arrogance, ambition and passion and their hidden wisdom with artful theater made for a web series.        It's unfortunate that your writers could not express how in the lushly produced series using an all Asian cast unheard of in a historical drama by an American studio and marketed to a wide audience on Netflix, demonstrates how sex-work can come from a place of empowerment for womyn even during that era and showcases the possi...

Makes me miss my peepz in Albany. That place taught me a lotta about love. It's been too many years my friends. Thanks to a local photo lab called McGreevy Pro for reminding me they're still holding onto these in case I want to make more prints. I'm pretty satisfied with this series.

I've been sick. I finally admitted it today after my body told me, no more- you are only doing the bare minimum. I yielded to the cloudy head, aches and runny nose and relinquished my hope that i could fight it. While succumbing to the cold, I also feel I have defeated it because after the worst is over it can only get better right? Another thing I learned about having the cold, is that all other bullshit gets tossed to the side. You're barely functioning, so you let go of anything not important including 'to do' list and people not worth talking to- I exchange my busy life, for time and space to be with myself and my snot, patiently waiting to recover while drinking hot tea, warm soup and trying to nap.  Today was probably one of the best days to take the "day off" and I don't mean from work, I mean life. I was already off the work schedule today and the temperature is currently dropping to like -4. Hence, social life halts, attending lectures, scr...